Friday, February 15, 2013
Well I thought I would get around to writing this post in early January, but here it is middle of February and I'm having to make myself sit down and do it. I still read all the blogs but I just can't get myself in gear to up date mine. So here goes. A recap of our year 2012. It was a great year!
We got clearance from Social Services about the mess that was told. It was one of the most stressful times of my mothering career. The accusation (of physical abuse) wasn't even against Keith or I, it was against one of the other grown kids. I couldn't even talk about it for a long time. The crazy thing is you may get 1 or 2 or even 3 people to cover up something. BUT you can not get 20 people to tell the same lie. They interviewed all of the kids. It even stated in the report that all children denied anything had ever happened. 3 other adults were here when the incident took place. THREE! Still the (1) worker felt it could have been handled differently. Oh I was spitting mad. It took 30 days for them to even investigate. Now do you really believe that if that felt the child was in danger they would have left him here 30 days with out investigating? NO! They knew he was FAS and sometimes got things wrong. They knew not 1 teacher had anything bad to say! They knew it was a tiny red mark, he done his self. (Seriously a line about the size of a red ink line) The next day it wasn't even on him. When the child was ask again what happen , he couldn't even remember! ANYWAY, I told you I was upset. STILL. Even though when ask for a supervisor to review it was dismissed. POOF just like that. Supervisor reviewed all evidence, without even talking to us and said oh "unfounded". Really, and the person who done the interviews couldn't talk to20 people and get that. After 18 years of adopting and fostering I've never ever had anything on my record. I have 11 grown children. 11. They interviewed 5 of those grown children. 5. ANYWAY we were cleared. It was still very stressful. I always thought DFCS was a fair agency, until this happened. Now I wonder how many other parents they manipulate and lie on. If not for my experience I may not have known what to do. So January was a GOOD month for me.
We celebrated our anniversary, without going on our annual trip. Still upset from January. We had fun with valentine boxes. Celebrated birthdays, and played around the house. We did learn that Jennifer got a job offer at UGA. I was so ready for her to move back to GA
Again a boring month. celebrated some birthdays, began working in my flower gardens, and started looking forward to spring.
Our Easter celebration is always huge. I love my big family and always look forward to holidays when everyone is together. I love dressing everyone up in their finest. I shop year round at thrift stores and yard sales as well as stores to pick up bargains. I also keep nice things to pass down. The children were all in the Easter play at church and did a Fantastic job.
BIG CHANGE. We have had our homestudy updated for sometime now. We just couldn't find the right fit for our family until. The adoption agency sent us to a match meeting. I knew of some of the kids that were going to be there and had picked out a group that I was sure was the ones. However GOD had other plans. We walked down to meet this particular sib group. They had several people interested so we just kinda said hi, and moved on. I did ask to speak to their worker. AND wham, I knew and she did too. We left. I felt it. I just felt like this group was the one. Not the younger, baby group. Nope. We proceeded to follow through chain of command. We met with our worker and was presented with the children's files. WHOA, we discussed it, everyone was doubtful. Everyone except me. Yes there were obstacles. Yes they had had two disruptions. Yes they had issues. Yes it would be hard. BUT I knew. I started crying when ask what I thought. I DoN't cry. I knew this was the group. AND it was. Everything moved so fast. You know God's timing and all that. Well his timing was quicker than any adoption placement I've seen before. ANd in the middle of all this, three children that we have been helping take care of went home to mom for good. That was good and bad news. I missed them but knew with three new ones coming, it would be easier if the three temporary were not here at all.
So they placed the kids. No one believed me when I told them how easy everything was. We are talking major diagnoses. 10 meds between the 3. With in a few months, they were off everything. It was an adjustment for us all, but it was an easy adjustment. They just fit. So we went from 23 blessing to 26. We did our usual summer stuff: lake, swimming, bowling, fishing, skating and having fun. We kept the kids really busy.
Our annual camping trip. We had some set back. It rained for 3 days. One of the new kids peed in their tent. some tents leaked. But we made memories. Bonded as a family, and had fun.
Staisha and Josh closed on their first house! It's a perfect house that still close to me. That makes a nana happy.
kids did great for the summer, now how would they do in school. The answer is another God given miracle. One went from being in an self contained class room to only having an aide in a regular room. Now that is not even needed. One was peeing and pooing everywhere. All day everyday to start with. Now no accidents. One was so full of aggression. The first fight that broke out, I calmly and quietly (not) explained (demanded) that there would be no fighting in this house unless it was with me, And I would Win. Only one happened after that, and I won. So I made my point. No more fighting. Of course we still have sibling quarrels but not violence. August also brought soccer and cheer leading, as well as dance. So that kept everyone including me busy.
In September Tabitha closed on a new house. That's two daughters in 2 months buying houses. Two other daughters moved in next door in the houses we own. One is a trailer and one was my grandmothers house. Great starters for young adults. we kept the roads hot with soccer games, football games and dance practice for 6 kids. Then came the call. The three we sent home for good, needed to come back.-------FOR GOOD! Woo Hoo. Not that I don't like helping out. There is just something about them actually belonging to me. Mine, noone can take them from me. So they technically came back. It was a little different because I couldn't take guardianship until after the adoption we were in the middle of. They legally went to Tabitha. That way it gave us a legal way to get medical attention, enroll them in school and sign them up for school sports. It was an easier transition back than I thought it would be. The kids kind of got it. They had been through enough to realize Mom couldn't do it. So they were ready to come back to three meals, clean clothes and a mom and dad who's in charge. 'We went to the apple orchard this year without Keith. He had to work but everyone had a good time. with no car trouble like 2011.
October came with a BIG occasion. DJ my first adopted got married. Our annual corn maze trip got cancelled to get all the wedding preparations done. I just about lost it in October. Soccer games were still going on, Faith and Katelynn were still having football cheerleading games. Dance was twice a week. Case workers were still visiting, All three kids were in counseling. Halloween costumes had to be gone through and picked out, 2 kids joined a special needs cheer squad and one was playing on a special needs soccer team. Whew, I barely made it through. The wedding was beautiful with two people starting there life together. I was a proud mom. Both of DJ's bio parents were there and that made it even more special.
Soccer finished, cheer finished, we decided to pull the plug on the special needs cheer because of travel, and so we took a deep breath. Thanksgiving was great this year. I had one daughter decide that everyone needed to cook, so I had help with our traditional dishes being prepared and brought to the house. Our Christmas preparations were started and everything got put in hyper drive once again.
Our adoption was finalized this month! Hooray! Our usual Chuckee Ch** kids still doing well. We started the paperwork at the end of Dec for the other 3. We are working on that diligently. Hope it's finished by the end March. Christmas was wonderful. We went on several family outings. Stone Mountain was fun, everyone went, that's the second time we went at Christmas. The Nutcracker was fabulous, that was a first for all of us. May do it a little different next year. Little kids didn't really get it. Destiny had family day at her unit and they sent several boxes of toys for the kids, as well as a ton of food. The lunch they prepared was good too. Anytime I don't have to cook (or supervise) is a good meal. Teenagers had a wonderful time at the old fashioned Christmas Tea at the church. Our gingerbread house party was a blast as usual. We did miss ice skating this year. The weather would not cooperate along with the days and time we had available.Our Christmas cookie decorating tradition was better than usual as I bought cookies already cut out. (on sale) Overall the Christmas season was busy but wonderful. Jennifer moved to Ga. She loves her job at UGA. I'm so proud of her! So another year finished up. It was a great one. I hope 2013 will be as good. If the few weeks already gone past are any indication, were in for another good year!