Wednesday, February 23, 2011

My Stars

While Hollywood may never know what bright stars they are, they sure do light up my world.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Surgery, Birthday, and Girls night out

Marvin fell while skiing with friends December 27 and hurt his knee. Doctor said it was only a sprain. January8th he fell again while playing laser tag. This time it was a trip to the ER. They referred him to a specialist. Thursday he ended up having surgery. Everything went great with the injury not being as bad as the MRI had predicted. (probably had something to do with prayer) He is healing nicely and will return to school tomorrow.

Promise celebrated her 13th birthday. She is now officially a teenager, although she has acted like one for 3 or 4 years. I have a special day planned for her tomorrow, because Friday I had several appointments with Marvin to follow up on.

Tonight my sister-in -law and I had a girls night out. We saw a movie and had dinner at Chili's. Sometimes I forget how to act without my kids or Keith along. I did have a good time and hope to do it again soon.

We were really blessed in church today. God is so good. We have only been attending this church about 2 months now, but it meets our needs so well. We went to a mega church for about 7 years. The pastor is a great man of God, but a mega church and a mega family doesn't match. I had to stand in line a very long time to sign my kids in and out of children's church. I know if someone had gotten really sick the pastor would not have been able to pray for us personally and probably would not have known who we were. We attended another small church for a little over 2 years but it just wasn't what the teenagers wanted. And keeping my teenagers in church and maintaining a personal relationship between them and the Lord is very important to me. During the 2 years we also visited another church for several services and found out quick it wasn't the right one. In fact it caused lots of problems within my family. So I've prayed a lot about us finding a church close to home, and one the teenagers would feel comfortable in as well as grow with the Lord in. I think I found it! The kids don't dread going, and neither do I. I also feel like I can be myself. Thank you Lord for all our blessings.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Army bound!

Krishawanda is on her to have her physical for the army today. This picture was taken this past summer at Fort Jackson. Destinee joined the national guard and we went down for family day. Krishawanda choose the Army as did Brian. I am so proud of them all. With Krishawanda in the Army, America's enemies don't stand a chance.

It's my party and I'll cry if I want too

This blog is written for me and expresses how I feel. I know it's not the right thing or even the acceptable thing to have some feelings. But hey this is real life. My life. You can't tell people how to feel. If I could, I would surely change feelings within my own family. My children come from many different backgrounds. Some birth mothers were unselfish and put the needs of their children first. They were placed at birth or very early. However some of my children come from very traumatic backgrounds, with both parents being on drugs or doing time in prison for selling drugs. I've actually heard a birth mother say she had a new life, a new boyfriend, a new job and didn't want her children. Some of my children can tell horror stories of being burnt by irons, choked, eating dog food, sleeping on cold floors with roaches and rats and many other unthinkable, unpostable, things. They have had to come to terms with their past. Through therapy, psychologist, psychiatrist, counselors, pastors, friends, teachers, family and most important God. Yet they still hold on to their past. It is who they are, it's what made them. That is why I choose to let them have contact with birth family. Their birth family is part of them. Not who they are, because we all have free choice. Who knows maybe they will grow up and impact their birth family enough to change the whole future of their family. If Jesus can forgive me of all the mistakes in life that I make then I too can forgive. Is it easy? No. But it is what I choose. Not because it's in an agreement or even that it was agreed to at the time of the adoption. I choose because it's what I think is best for my child. I love some of my children's birth parents. Not because they do anything for me. But because they give the kids permission to move on in life. Just because they aren't being raised by them doesn't mean they can't have a relationship later with them. We are all human and make mistakes. Some mistakes leave scars that last longer then others. Some scars never fade, but are lived with all their lives. I too have a past that has made me who I am. Trauma effects us all in different ways. Hopefully I'm taking my past and helping someone else deal with theirs. And in return they will help and so on and so on. That's my plan anyway.