Tuesday, April 27, 2010
We all have choices. It starts with me as soon as my alarm clock goes off. Hit snooze or get up? That's a very small choice, but one that if not made can turn a whole day upside down. I teach my children about good choices. All of them make bad choices sometimes. BUT one young man continues to make bad choices. Every time he is presented with a choice he chooses the wrong one. He is very smart, but he is failing a class, He is in therapy, but behavior hasn't changed, He has house rules, but I continue to find things he's not suppose to have. After fighting this battle for so many years with little progress I want to give up. I don't want to enforce his punishment. It's easier to just say WHATEVER. Fail, Your only hurting yourself. Go ahead, let Satan take over, I've done my job. I really really want to. BUT I can't. I love him. I so want him to turn the corner. I want him to realize how smart he is, how he could be or do anything in this world he really wanted to do. At one point in time I had the opportunity to seek residential treatment for him, I was afraid he would be exposed to other BAD things. I kept him home, kept him in church, kept him in weekly therapy, kept him with his family. Was it the right decision? I may never know. But I have HOPE. Hope that one day he will want to live a righteous life. Follow rules, follow laws, get an education, fall in love, have his own family, and come to realize how much I love him. That everything I do, all the rules, all the talks, all the therapy, all the involvement with him is because it is what I thought was best for him. All because I love him. Unconditionally. I have hope.