Thankful for Family

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving. All but one child (adults included) was home. He came on Tuesday but I really missed him on Thursday at our Thanksgiving meal. This may be a new normal as kids grow up and move away. Oh well I'll be Thankful every time we are all together, holiday or not.

Many Birthday's

November is our big Birthday month. We have 6 birthdays this month, and one of them was mine. Funny I don't feel any older, but I do look older. (just a little) I prefer wiser not older. The sad part is by the time you figure out most of life's questions, it's time to leave this life. I'll post pictures soon of the kids birthdays. We are busy getting ready for Thanksgiving. Two 26 pound turkeys and a 16 pound country ham. Along with all the fixings of course. I do love to have my family home and cook for Thanksgiving. And then there's the shopping too. I hope to take Christmas photos on Thanksgiving but I guess that will depend on how smooth everything goes. I still have to get the tree up and unpack all the decorations. There is always something to do. But I love it!

Happy helper?

Not in my world. I get so aggravated with attitudes sometime. I don't think anyone in this household is concerned about anything but themselves. Nothing! They all take for granted the hot meals, clean laundry, warm house, and soft bed they have. While I agree that they all deserve to be a kid and not worry I also believe they should want to do the right thing. Everyone of my teenagers wants to play sports, hang out, and do all the fun stuff. However no one wants to turn their hand to anything extra. By extra I mean other than the bare minimal to get by. No one keeps their room clean. Clean, as in bed made, clothes put away, most everything organized. They will not clean their rooms until I'm mad and complaining. They will just sit in a room turned upside down. They will not do laundry until I say_____ go do laundry. They will complain if they can't find the clothes they want, then blame the lack of clean clothes on someone else. They will actually walk around something rather than picking it up and putting it in its place. I know this is an age old gripe. But we are talking about 16,17, and 18year old young men and women. What in the world are they going to do when they start to live on their own? I won't be there to say start laundry, pick up your dirty clothes, put the dishes in the dish washer, clean up the drink you just spilled. Will they actually live In filth? I guess they will. I know when my two oldest girls were living at home they argued all the time about keeping their room clean. One was a neat freak and the other just passable. But at least it was passable. These kids rooms you can't walk in if I go longer than a few days without saying something. This isn't my only gripe today. I guess I'm just in a bad mood. I'll be back to my regular happy self tomorrow. But today, I'm gonna gripe!

8th GRADE

My 14 year old daughter made the basketball team in middle school. Yea! right? She is very smart. Very Smart. Her grades are all A's with the exception of one B (89). I went in for her conference today. The teachers had nothing but praise for academics. She pays attention, turns in homework, reads, and does all her projects. BUT her behavior is lacking. Lacking respect, responsibility, truthfulness, and lacking the ability to pick friends who are true friends and not troublemakers. She is like this at home also. She does a good job on her chores. She will do anything I tell her to. She will not do it without complaining, whining, and trying to convince me there is a reason she should not do it. Keith and I plan on talking to her about all this. I have a feeling talking isn't going to do any good. DNA. She has siblings that are exactly like this. They have had to learn the hard way. I guess she will to. Consequences will have to be harsh. Not just a don't do that because that won't work. She is never wrong. She will never admit her mistakes. She will never take responsibility for what she does wrong. NEVER. Her life will not be very pleasant for the next year or so. Mine won't either.

The picture is of our house. Everyone that discovers I have 18 kids at home always ask how big my house is. My answer is not big enough! 10 bedrooms, and 5 bathrooms, still not big enough.

Homeschooling One

I'm homeschooling one child. Just one. My hat is off to all the moms who home school all their children. This one child does have a learning disability. Along with a low IQ. I still find it really tough to get her motivated. She had some problems in school with stealing and failed the state test they have to take every year. So I decided to try home school. First let me say her behavior has improved greatly! She and I are closer. There is not an issue of her trying to wear skanky clothes, or too much make up or jewelry. Her stealing behaviors are gone. (SO FAR) She is happier, she smiles more, she volunteers more around the house, she doesn't back talk or argue, and she is getting along somewhat better with her siblings. (still bossy) BUT I can not get her to want to do her school work. I had her tested for academic placement and she places about mid 3rd grade and early 4Th. I make out her lesson plan, and she is suppose to complete it. First we started off having it completed on a weekly basis. NOPE! that did not work. At the end of the first week she hardly had anything done. Then we tried it by subject. That week all she got done was her reading. She can't plan out and organize how much time to spend reading, and still get her questions answered. So now we have to go on a day by day basis. I have to give her a specific task for a specific day. If I leave her to do anything by herself she just dilly-dallies the day away. Most of her work has to be redone unless I'm right there with her. I know the school could not do this. So how did she stay in school. Maybe that's why she is suppose to be in 7Th grade and isn't. I haven't found what really works for her. She is a great helper in all I do. I try and use math and reading skills with her when I can, like measuring for lunch or dinner. Or baking a cake. There is always adding with fractions with cooking for all our family. She really wants to go back to school but I'm afraid. Will she go back to her old ways? I'm still thinking on it.

Halloween dress-up

These are pictures from Halloween. The picture of the Toy Story picture has the two year old in it. We were at the orthodontist and he was sick of waiting (so was I) and we walked the side walk in front of the office building. They had a fit over the poster. All the kids had fun and got tons of candy. In years past I have monitored how much they eat at one time. This year I slacked off and they ate all of their candy in 2 days! Good and bad. Good, as in I didn't have to deal with candy all week, and bad because one threw up from too much candy and the rest was on really wild sugar highs. Trick or treat is one of their favorite things because I don't buy candy. They get candy only as a treat. So it really was a treat.

DNA

This picture is of my brother and his wife. He is my only sibling. There is almost 10 years between us. My child care classes started with him.(LOL)



How do you parent the children that are giving you so much trouble? This, I was ask recently by a well meaning friend. It was a question I had ask my self recently. I have made some changes in my parenting in the last several months.

To begin with I'd like to say expectation has a lot to do with their actions, especially when they are young. Say 10 and younger. They learn what is expected of them while they are young and it just carries over in to their teen years. The oldest child I've ever adopted was 11. She is 18 now and is a really good kid. We have had our issues but hey that's a given. Some children are harder than others. I had a psychologist tell me that no matter how good a parent I was I could not change their DNA. And he was right. Love, family, home, food, shelter, education, sports, religion, and good parenting can not change the DNA. When I first heard this some 12 years ago I thought yea right. Well I've come to accept that. I've decided to move on. At around 16 to 17 (some mature faster than others) I've started to back off. I've started letting them make their own bed, so to speak. If their room is a pig sty, they have to live in it. If they don't help do laundry, they wear dirty clothes. If they are failing classes, they will not graduate. These are just a few of the things I've decided to back off on. Now let me tell you-10 years ago I did not do this. I stayed on every one to keep every thing in order, maintain B's, clean, clean, clean. It was not easy. My birth son was really a hard case. But I was determined he was going to act "right". Well, after a tough summer this year, and a failing attempt to "fix" one of my children I decided after talking to many professionals, to quit trying so hard. One therapist put it like this; A lesson in the school of hard knocks is what this kid needs. It wasn't easy for me at first. I've had to let go of the control slowly. Keith still doesn't like it. I just decided not to let my life be a living nightmare. So far so good. Curfew still has to be met, because that affects me. I have to stay up and let kids in. Of course alcohol, drugs, tobacco, and porn are still absolutley off limits. I will involve the police in that case. My life has actually been easier. I'm not worrying so much. The what if's aren't driving me crazy. I still love them. If they are lying in a ditch hurt I would help them out. I'm just not gonna stand in front of the ditch and plead, beg, and fight to keep them from going in it to start with. Hopefully at some point in their live they will realize I just wanted what was best for them. Maybe not, I can't change DNA.

Austin and Soccer

Austin is on a special needs soccer team. He played on regular team last year and just could not understand the concept of the game. The team he is on now has a variety of special need children on it. Like him, you can't tell what's wrong with some just by looking. He stared off into the wild blue for a lot of the game. He really didn't want to play. He didn't even want to go. That's him on a daily basis. You never know what his day will be like. If he is in a good mood, everyone thinks he is just a normal kid. But let him be having an off day and BAM! you know he has issues. Sad really. FAS is awful. It should be against the law.

I kept a 2 year old for a week. Mom was/is homeless and I was a bridge until a cousin could step in and take guardianship. He was such a mess. I really enjoyed having him. It makes me miss the baby years. Am I too old to take a baby? Some days I think yes and some days I think NO. My heart sure wants to. Oh well, if the opportunity arises.........