busy, busy, busy,.....tired tired tired

Since Staisha has had the baby I want to spend every extra minute holding him. He is so precious. Thank you LORD for Kyson. Staisha is a great mom although stubborn. She isn't getting enough rest I'm afraid.

Life is chugging along with all my teenagers growing into adults right before my eyes. Destinee turned 17 on the 26th. She is such a great young lady. She is respectful, smart and fun. She is a joy to be around. She is also a great student and is working a job as well as being a cheerleader. Her life is full.

Everyone else is doing well. I couldn't ask for better kids. One is still having some issues but we are working on it. I guess I'll be working on something until the day I die. I wouldn't have it any other way. I love being a mom. And a grandma!

New baby!

Staisha has had the baby and everyone is great! He weighed 6lbs and 10ozs. I'll post pictures of him soon. Of coarse I think he is the cutest baby in the world!

Lying and Stealing

OK , my daughter said I don't post enough about out real issues, so get ready because I am livid. My 8 year old son has really been acting out. I am at the end of my rope with this child. He is the same child who has had toileting accidents. He has been caught stealing at school. He was also caught stealing at home, twice in 2 months. He went upstairs and stole candy from one of the teenage girls and then he went downstairs and stole one of the teenage boys money. He is doing this while no one else is in the rooms. His job is emptying the bathroom trash every morning. He has 5 bathrooms to do. He takes a medium size trash bag and picks up the small bag of bathroom trash, puts it into the bigger bag and places a clean small white trash bag into the bathroom trash can. When he first started doing this it took him about 10 to 15 minutes to do all the bathrooms. Now he is dragging it out to 30. He is going into kids rooms and going through their stuff. I have had to have an escort go with him. This not only throw everyone else off it makes the person having to do this upset. Why do you steal? was shouted at him by one of the other kids. Now he has went to school and stolen a fancy pencil eraser. I know some stuff is typical kid stuff that they have to be corrected for. But his teacher said she ask him twice and he said no. Another teacher knew he had sat at this desk. His teacher went back a third time and ask him if he was sure he didn't have anything that did not belong to him. She also told him she was going to check his bag. He looked her in the eye and said NO MAM! So she looked and HE HAD IT! When he was questioned he said "I don't know" which is what he tells me also. I am at my wits end. He got punished both times that he has stolen at home. He was caught red handed then also, so he is GUILTY! I've taken TV, toys, game systems, etc etc. away from him and he don't care! So what am I going to do. He is in therapy. He is of average intelligence. He is spent time with every day with some positive reinforcement. (I play a board game or read with him) no matter what I say he just looks at me. I have said everything I know to say. He just sits. He don't care. So what now? This kind of stuff frustrates me so much I just want to say OK go ahead, lie, steal , cheat, and go onto jail now and quit wasting my time. I know I won't. I just don't know what else to do. Is he doomed to fail? Is he pre-destined to be in prison? I know God can change people, but I also know the person has to admit he was wrong and want to change. When I ask this child why he was in trouble he said "BECAUSE I GOT CAUGHT! I kid you not. Even when prompt he not once said I stole. It's like he doesn't think what he did was wrong. I'm afraid the school will start blaming me. Even though I have 21 others who don't act out and who don't steal. If I scream he just looks at me. If I talk quietly he just looks at me. I just ask him (with my sister in law listening) if he had been behaving in school. He looked me right in the eye and said yes. I said you haven't been in any trouble? No mom. This was Monday. Monday afternoon the teacher called and said he had stolen Wednesday , been given a not to bring back on Thursday, which he told her he forgot and then brought it to her on Friday and had signed it himself! On top of all that he was inappropriate with another student on Monday and had to sit out and do his work alone. How strict and for how long do I need to punish him? I know what I would have done 20 years ago to my bio son. He would not have been able to sit down for a long time. But is that what he needs? Is it something deeper? Is he asking for help? What I just don't know!!

Posts

Well this is the third time I've sat down to write a post. The first time I got called away to fix a broken toilet. Don't ask me how children break the mechanism that flushes the toilet, but they do so regularly. We have to replace the inside of the tank about every six months. We have 5 so that can add up to a large amount of time, that I ( or Keith) had rather be doing something else. The second time 2 of my grown daughters and all of my teenage girls were having a discussion on how I raise girls verses how I raise boys. It got so loud and opinionated that I decided to wait until later, after I processed the information. I should say expectations of what I expect my girls to do verses what I expect my boys to do.. I know I do expect my girls to learn how to do everything that I can do. They all know how to run my household if I'm not here. They can all tend to children from age newborn up. Could my boys ? NO. I know, I know, I should be teaching them all the same thing. We had an incident with a boy that I wasn't happy with. I guess that made me a little nervous leaving smaller kids with teenage boys. Yes I know some brothers take care of their younger sibling just great. Our family dynamics are a little different being we have such a large family made up of different sibling groups. I am very mindful of that fact. With all that being said, I don't expect the girls to do some things either. All of my teenage girls bedrooms are upstairs. All of my teenage boys bedrooms are downstairs (as in the basement). The boys aren't allowed upstairs and the girls aren't allowed downstairs. The youngest children are all on the main floor. We do have a camera and some door alarms in place for safety. I would not think twice about one of my teenage girls being in my 6 years old daughters rooms but would freak out if one of the teenage boys went into the same room. So if a bed needs to be stripped to be washed I think nothing of asking one of the girls to do it. I do expect the boys to help with laundry. The girls don't weed eat or cut grass or use a tiller in the garden but the boys all have. So I guess I'm a little old fashioned in the way I'm raising the kids. It is working for us so far, and if it works why fix it.

Nope!

It is not broken! yea! The doctor did say he didn't need to play football tonight. DJ went to the game anyway, hopefully he will use good sense and not play. HOPEFULLY!

Doctor visit for DJ

There was an away JV game last night. DJ and Daivon both play football for the JV and varsity team. Tabitha was going to babysit last night for Keith and I to have a dinner and a movie out. Well the football game was away and they left around 3. Keith got home at 5 and we left before 6. We had dinner at Chili's and then had time to kill before the movie started. We had a coffee and conversation and was in line to purchase out movie tickets and the phone rang. It was Tabitha saying DJ had called and the coaches thought he had broken his hand during the game. So we got out of line and called DJ. He said his hand was hurt, the coach thought it was broken and they were 2 hours away. So we went to the nursing home and saw Keith's dad and then picked the boys up. It was swollen pretty bad. He wasn't in a lot of pain so we decided to wait until this morning for his reg Dr. So he and Keith are off to the Dr. to see if he has a broken hand. It isn't swollen as bad this morning so I'm hoping for the best. Meanwhile I'm suppose to go with Staisha to the Dr to see when her baby is coming so I've got to hurry and try to get everybody where they are suppose to be so I can go.

Health and Anger

As part of my "recommendations" at the hospital, I've been eating healthier. So far I've lost 10 lbs. Sounds great right? Well it is so nice to be losing weight. BUT it is so hard to cook or just be around brownies, cake, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, ice cream, donuts, gravy and homemade biscuits. How in the world am I ever gonna KEEP it off? My 110 lb 28 year old says "it's a lifestyle change mom" Well what if I like my life style? I do. and I like to eat. and cook. and did I say eat. Well I do. I don't do anything else unhealthy except eat. I would say I exercise but then my older girls would comment and say NOT ENOUGH, so I can't say I exercise regularly. I do want to be healthy.

As I was talking to my older daughters about my blog one of them feels like I don't share enough of the real issues. You don't write about being mad. I do try and be positive. What she don't realize is that some stuff is just normal raising teenager stuff. Everyone who has ever raised a teenager knows that you struggle with issues like curfews, grades, backtalk, chores, disrespect, arguments between siblings, and so forth and so on. I have to admit my teenagers are pretty good in the disrespect and back talk category. My grown kids say stuff like " you would never have let me get by with that." or "we didn't talk like that" but in all reality they did say stuff they shouldn't have and they did get by with some stuff they did. One thing that is a constant battle is grades. When my bio kids were in school C's were not accepted. The girls were always straight A's and Brian struggled every now and then, but they always maintained good grades. Even Brian with all his wanting to have a good time attitude. However my next group of kids have had life a little harder and maybe I do have a soft spot for them. I also know that school comes easier for some than it does for others. I have 3 kids in High School that have a C. My older girls are just about to have a fit about it. You need to ground them. Do I? It is still passing. They are doing well in the other subjects. So maybe I do need to be tougher. I do need to say the classes are hard. They are all in college prep classes so they can't goof off any. They are all involved in a lot. Clubs and sports as well as church activities. Will they get accepted into college with a C or 2? Or do they have a C because I said I would allow one C? Oh I just don't know. It is hard having kids of all ages. I have to listen to the opinions of my grown kids and take their opinion into consideration. Sometimes it's good to get an educated opinion on top of my experience in parenting. But sometime I don't like their opinion and have to listen anyway. So there that's something that makes me mad!

TV

I have watched more TV in the last week than I normally watch in a whole year. Seriously. I have felt lousy and I still have to parent. So I have parked myself in my kitchen, which is the heart of my household and parented from a recliner or sofa. I have to admit the kids have been really well behaved. Everyone has jumped in and been really helpful. I didn't know I could feel so bad for so long. Not sick just tired and grumpy.

Selena and Krishawanda are doing dinner tonight. I haven't cooked much in the last week. It sure is nice having teenage girls to fill my shoes. I'm still around to keep the peace as they tend to want to boss everyone but for a family with 18 kids (sometimes 21) most everyone does the right thing.

Report cards are coming out soon and according to the school Internet site, only 1 child has a failing grade. It is a 69, and it is from one of my smartest kids. One out of 18 isn't bad but I hate it when my kids don't succeed (excel) in school. Education is so important. It is one link to break the chain on their lives. when they are complaining about how hard school is or how much I expect out of them I tell them to go to the county jail and see how many college educated people are in jail compared to the dropouts. It usually shuts them up. And yes I know college education is not a guarantee they won't get into trouble with the law but it is sure a good statistic on my side.

Staisha is down to 3 weeks and counting. Her plan is to be induced the 30th, if she hasn't gone by then. He due date is Nov 3rd. She is out walking now trying to be prepared when the baby comes. Her good friend just had her baby and she pushed for about 15 minutes and she had her baby. I too had very short labor with all my kids. 6 hours being the longest, and 2 being the shortest. I had hoped Tabitha's labor would be short too but it was 18 hours long. So maybe Staisha will take after me and it will be quick.

I'm feeling better and stronger so hopefully I can keep my blog up. I have thought of 10 different post while laying around. If all is well I'll post them soon so I don't forget. I hate old age.

No Posts?????

I've been sick!! I didn't want to be but I was. It turns out after a big scare I"m only anemic. They thought to start with it was my heart! So thank GOD for answered prayers. Last year in November I had another close call and when the Doctors did the test they couldn't find a thing. So I'm praising God for his goodness and mercy.

slow day

Today we had a very laid back day. In fact this is the first day in a long while that we didn't leave the house. That's Keith nor I. The cars didn't move from the drive way. Keith and the boys did cut grass, and we did laundry today, but other than that I was a bum all day. Selena, Kieanna, Destinee, and I played a computer game all day. Three of the older boys are staying at a friends house, and two teenage girls aren't back yet from getting their hair done. Krishawanda and Kieanna had cross country and a Raider team event today. So the teenagers left but we didn't. I can take some no stress, no worry days.

Ball Game Tonight

Tonight is our last home High School football game. We have only lost one game this year opposed to only winning one last year. The teenagers are all excited. 6 of the 7 high school kids are there. I guess Keith will take the older kids and I"ll sit home tonight. Brian is needing to borrow Keith's truck and that will leave us with only one 15 passenger van running. I will also have Lauren and Andrew this evening as Tabitha is going to try and study her vocabulary for her GRE. She took a class on line and really liked it. They guarantee she passes the GRE or she can take the class again for free. Wish college was like that.
Yesterday was Faith's birthday. My baby turned six. Where does time go? I'll post pictures of her tomorrow as I can't upload pictures from this computer.
This morning was doughnuts for dad at school. This is the first time Keith has ever been able to attend a dad/student event in years. He has had to be at work at 6 am for the last 25 years. No kidding. He has always worked a lot. Since they have cut his hours he was able to work it where he was off today (Friday) so he could go to school with the kids. I'm sure they were excited. He on the other hand was at a loss. Where do I go and what are their teachers name, was the questions he was asking as he was headed out the door. I told him to just follow the kids they would know where to go. LOL He made it. Next it will be the fall festival in their classrooms. I think I like him not working so much after all!!