Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Lying and Stealing

OK , my daughter said I don't post enough about out real issues, so get ready because I am livid. My 8 year old son has really been acting out. I am at the end of my rope with this child. He is the same child who has had toileting accidents. He has been caught stealing at school. He was also caught stealing at home, twice in 2 months. He went upstairs and stole candy from one of the teenage girls and then he went downstairs and stole one of the teenage boys money. He is doing this while no one else is in the rooms. His job is emptying the bathroom trash every morning. He has 5 bathrooms to do. He takes a medium size trash bag and picks up the small bag of bathroom trash, puts it into the bigger bag and places a clean small white trash bag into the bathroom trash can. When he first started doing this it took him about 10 to 15 minutes to do all the bathrooms. Now he is dragging it out to 30. He is going into kids rooms and going through their stuff. I have had to have an escort go with him. This not only throw everyone else off it makes the person having to do this upset. Why do you steal? was shouted at him by one of the other kids. Now he has went to school and stolen a fancy pencil eraser. I know some stuff is typical kid stuff that they have to be corrected for. But his teacher said she ask him twice and he said no. Another teacher knew he had sat at this desk. His teacher went back a third time and ask him if he was sure he didn't have anything that did not belong to him. She also told him she was going to check his bag. He looked her in the eye and said NO MAM! So she looked and HE HAD IT! When he was questioned he said "I don't know" which is what he tells me also. I am at my wits end. He got punished both times that he has stolen at home. He was caught red handed then also, so he is GUILTY! I've taken TV, toys, game systems, etc etc. away from him and he don't care! So what am I going to do. He is in therapy. He is of average intelligence. He is spent time with every day with some positive reinforcement. (I play a board game or read with him) no matter what I say he just looks at me. I have said everything I know to say. He just sits. He don't care. So what now? This kind of stuff frustrates me so much I just want to say OK go ahead, lie, steal , cheat, and go onto jail now and quit wasting my time. I know I won't. I just don't know what else to do. Is he doomed to fail? Is he pre-destined to be in prison? I know God can change people, but I also know the person has to admit he was wrong and want to change. When I ask this child why he was in trouble he said "BECAUSE I GOT CAUGHT! I kid you not. Even when prompt he not once said I stole. It's like he doesn't think what he did was wrong. I'm afraid the school will start blaming me. Even though I have 21 others who don't act out and who don't steal. If I scream he just looks at me. If I talk quietly he just looks at me. I just ask him (with my sister in law listening) if he had been behaving in school. He looked me right in the eye and said yes. I said you haven't been in any trouble? No mom. This was Monday. Monday afternoon the teacher called and said he had stolen Wednesday , been given a not to bring back on Thursday, which he told her he forgot and then brought it to her on Friday and had signed it himself! On top of all that he was inappropriate with another student on Monday and had to sit out and do his work alone. How strict and for how long do I need to punish him? I know what I would have done 20 years ago to my bio son. He would not have been able to sit down for a long time. But is that what he needs? Is it something deeper? Is he asking for help? What I just don't know!!

1 comment:

  1. I think you are doing the right thing by being consistant with the punishment. If he is not repentant and does not see this is a "wrong" action, then maybe losing priviledges for a long period of time might get the message across. One thought might be to switch his chore that he doesn't have access to the other kids property. Maybe dishes or sweeping or something in the main rooms of the house. That might remove some of the temptation. Maybe the teacher could simply isolate his desk from the others until he proves himself capable of not stealing. I don't know if that is a practical thing or not. The only other thing I can think of is prayer. Just keep praying for the Lord to touch his heart so he will be receptive to the teaching he is receiving from you. I think you are doing all that can be done and I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all work...wouldn't that be nice!