Injuries

My boys have gotten hurt more in the last year than all the other years combined. DJ has pulled a muscle in his side wrestling along with hurting his hand that we thought was broken. Daivon hurt his shoulder/collarbone in football. Anthony broke his finger during football practice and ended up having to have surgery on it. During the summer Isaiah broke his arm on a bicycle. Austin jumped on a small hot wheels type airplane and punctured his foot that required an ER visit over the Thanksgiving holidays. Marvin came in today and said his knee was hurt from falling on a cement floor during wrestling. We have gotten to know the ER doctor pretty well. So far nothing serious has happened but I cringe at what could be.

Most all the highschool kids are involved in sports so I know some injuries with 7 kids active is bound to happen. I don't know if it is because I'm older or what but it seems like I worry more with these teenagers than I did with my other ones. The middle school kids coming up aren't as likely to play as much as this group has. Selena loves basketball but is short so she can't make the school team. She is playing rec ball this year but this is the last year they have a team. John has CP so he doesn't excel at sports but does well academically and is in band. Cora has some delays and is in special ed, she doesn't even like sports . Robert might play but the school doesn't let 6th grades try out and I didn't get him signed up for rec ball this year so time will tell if he will make the 7th grade team. Kieanna is playing basketball and runs track so I'm sure she will play in high school. So for the time being everyone is really really busy. I'm looking forward to everything slowing down.

where did it go?

It seem like I was planning for Thanksgiving for weeks, looking forward to seeing all of our families, eating, and enjoying the holiday. Well it went by too fast. This year it seemed like everything was on fast forward. Jennifer was here for 5 days and I couldn't believe it when she said goodbye. We cooked a lot of food. I think everyone enjoyed it. My electric stove went out four days before Thanksgiving. I called Sears thinking it was only a heating element and they would fix it the day they came out. Well they came out promptly to tell me the part had to be ordered and it would be another week before they could fix it. BUMMER! I still had my gas stove so I thought I could pull it off. Well, after making out a list of foods to cook and where and how, I quickly realized I could not pull it off! Thankfully my sister in law was here and said go get my stove. So Keith went and got her stove and we put it in the LIBRARY. Yes, the library. At one point I said " Krishawanda check the pies in the stove in the library. " Jennifer replied with "mom I know that is the only time anyone has ever said that. You just don't have a stove in a room with shelves full of books. Well it worked. We got everything cooked on time. Our Library is what use to be the old Kitchen. The electric outlet for the stove was still there. I originally wanted to put in a washer/dryer closet there. Keith didn't like that idea so I came up with the Library which works out great. It is another place for the kids to watch a movie, or play a video, or just read. I prefer the latter.

It has been a while since I've posted. Having a new grand baby next door, I just want to spend my extra time sitting and rocking and holding Kyson. Staisha has needed a little extra care too. Her husband is great, but works 2 jobs and goes to school full time. He will graduate in May with a bachelors in Criminology. I'm so proud of them both. They are really good parents. Amid all of Staisha's issues Kyson became jaundice again and had to go in for a heal stick. He's fine and shes on her way to being fully recovered.

All the kids are doing really well. They are all excited for Christmas. Sometimes they have a moment when they reflect on the what ifs. We talk about it, and sometimes argue about it but I think it is a normal feeling. I too wonder about some what ifs. Destinee who is 17 wrote me the most beautiful letter. I cried the whole time she read it to me. It was on what she was thankful for. It was a true reflection of how she felt. Someday I hope I can share it with her bio parents in a happy time. Life in this big family is full of surprises. Some, I should say most, good.

For those who are asking about pictures I promise to post lots soon. The kids are all growing so fast. I think I have all their Christmas outfits ready. We usually do pictures on Thanksgiving but with all the people this year we didn't have time, so I hope we get to it soon.

I know Christmas is close but I sure hope it doesn't go by so fast.

where did it go?

911

911.That's what I was dialing at 8:00 yesterday morning. Staisha had some serious complications from giving birth to Kyson and passed out. She called me and I told her I would be right up to take her to the Dr. Before I could get there Josh called and said she had passed out. Oh My Goodness! She did come to, and I got her Dr. on the phone. He said to take her straight to the emergency room. Well I was afraid to move her, so I called an ambulance. The paramedics that got there first were fantastic! Everything went well. They loaded her into the ambulance, Josh road with her and the baby and Tanya (her aunt) and I followed in the car. They did admit her, but later let her come home as she stabilized. Whew! They teased me and told me I was a nervous wreck. Well I don't remember being shaky, but I do remember barking out orders. Which they agreed with, just that I was shaky while I was doing so. Well, who wouldn't be? While we were in the ER, she was freaking out because they told her a baby could not stay with her on a surgical floor. She was really upset. Finally they agreed to let her keep the baby with her, if someone else stayed to take care of the baby. Well DUH! Did they think we would leave her in a hospital brought in by an ambulance with a tiny baby? She has to take it easy and stay in bed for a few days. Kyson never new anything was amiss. He still got to eat his belly full and sleep in someones arms and that's all he cared about.

She is feeling some better today. What a way to spend my birthday! It is sure one I will never forget! Thank goodness for 911.

Dating

I now have 2 --17 year old and 2--16 year old and 2--15 year old. As I have gotten older I parent a little bit differently with this group of teens than I did with my others. I use to go EVERYWHERE they went. All band, football, cheer leading, history club, track, and everything else they were involved in. With this group it's harder. I have so many at home that I can't afford to take everyone and go. It cost so much to get into the events. It also cost if your gone from home very long because kids want to eat. Even if we eat right before we leave. Something about riding in the car and everyone wants to eat. So this group have to go places with out me. There are positive things and negative things about this. One of the girls invited a young man to meet her at the basketball game. Which I really have no problem with. However afterwards I found out he isn't a very nicely spoken (my choice of words) young man. I know that kids will push boundaries. I know that sometimes they will say things they shouldn't. But for someone to post on the computer for all to see is just too much in my book. In anger I have said things I should not say, but if I have time to think and write or in everyday words I do not use ugly language. One of the kids told their therapist I said a bad word. It was funny really at what they thought was a bad word. And I know with everyone there is room for improvement. So how do I express my feelings to this almost adult young lady without pushing her away from me. I so want my girls to choose well behaved, well spoken, good citizen young men. Keith probably has better control over his tongue than I do mine so it is not by example that they choose this type of boyfriend. I was married at 17, and got a great husband. Our life hasn't been easy but we have overcome so much together. I talked to my children regularly about trashy mouths. I try to use examples of real people in the spot light and ask the kids if this is what they think Obama, or Oprah, or their teacher, or Principal, or someone they would look up to, would talk like. They do know what's right and wrong. They want to be accepted and liked and popular. Sometime they are popular because someone says OH your one of those Ledford's aren't you? Most all of their teachers and leaders know that I would back them up if there was a problem. So usually if one does step out of line a little bit all the teacher has to say is I know your mom and they straighten right up. Calling mom is the worst punishment especially for the younger kids. I am very very proud of my children. If they could ever do anything for me it's to make me proud of them. I so want a good life for them all. I think they are all on the right road. I just don't know which avenue dating is going to take them down. Hopefully they will eventually come out on the road that is Heaven Bound.

Holidays Approaching

I haven't written much lately as I have been busy running around. Everyone had appointments this last week along with me getting some shopping done. Is it me or has everything doubled in price since last year. We usually do a great big Christmas. I don't buy toy's throughout the year and we don't do big gifts for birthdays. I stopped doing big birthdays after I realized some kids were getting the short end of the stick. For example in January the kids who had birthdays wouldn't get as much because we had just had Christmas and everything they had (with in reason) wanted was given at Christmas. But by March when we had our taxes back the kids who had birthday's got a much bigger gift. So we decided to just do smaller birthday's all together. That way everyone was treated fairly. And believe you me, they keep up with what is fair. I've had one to even count her gifts to make sure she got the same as everyone else. It didn't count that some cost more it just has to be the same amount. She is older now but at 10 that was so important to her. Same kid got upset because she didn't have the biggest piece of cake at her birthday. Which is traditionally the way we do it. The birthday kid gets to cut their own piece of cake. Well her peice of cake was about one fourth of the cake and I made her cut a normal piece of cake. The next kid's was a little larger and BAM! We had a meltdown on our hands. I think this all ties into not having enough as a young child and not being able to do anything about it. This is just a small problem that is dealt with when you adopt and older child. They suffer so much before you get them that it takes a long long time to overcome not having enough, being cold, being hungry, being scared, and on and on. I could write a post about each and everyone of these issues as we have dealt with all of them. Most have overcome, some still are working on it.

Christmas is such a happy time for our family. The kids do have some acting out behaviors due to missing birth families and not knowing what could have been. I love Christmas and I think my attitude rubs off on the kids which helps them to overcome some anxieties. I'm going shopping just picking up the best deals and beating the Christmas rush. I still haven't bought my turkey for Thanksgiving! I have the ham and most of the trimmings. So I'm off to shop, one of my favorite things to do!

Special Needs

I have six children with diagnosed special needs. FAS, MID, CP, Learning Disabilities, and Drug Exposure in the Womb. What is so sad about this is that some of this could have been prevented. Why in the world can't the government come up with a plan to charge mothers with crimes when they knowingly drink alcohol and do drugs while pregnant. It is so unfair to the children to have to learn to live with problems. The moms don't suffer because they don't care enough anyway. If they can't stop using while they are pregnant they sure can't stop using and take care of the children. It is just so unfair. I love all of my children. I love the ones with issues just as much as I do the ones who are in college prep classes. It is just heart breaking to watch and want to find a cure for these kids. I think God has chosen some of these kids for me as He has shown me I can't fix everything. Sometimes we just have to love and do the best we can. And that is what I'm doing. The best I can.

Halloween Pictures

This isn't everyone some of the teenagers were at a costume party and some of the pictures didn't take. Still cute. The one of Faith in her hat was taken at school. It is of her hat party for reading. She likes the one of her in her hat so we put that one up. They all had a really good time trick or treating and eating candy.

Birthdays

Faith Oct. 1,--6 Destinee Oct 26,--17 and Katelynn Nov. 7--8.
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Home School

I have a child who struggles in school. She has an IEP and has had behavior issues in the past. She is in 5th grade now. She is tall for her age and very pretty. She has a low IQ and is easy talked into things. She is 11 and wants to look and act 17. I kid you not. She could pass for 15 or 16 for sure. She wants to wear make up and dress inappropriate. So what am I to do? I have her in therapy, I communicate with the school, I have talked to her and have had her sisters talk to her. She just will not make good choices. This past Friday someone saw her at school and later remarked they didn't know she (this child) was allowed to wear makeup. She's not. OH well she sure had on makeup and large hoop ear rings. We had issues last year about earrings. She stole my earrings and had her picture taken in them and then brought me the picture. So she was told she could not wear jewelry. When I ask her about this of coarse she denied it all. Finally she said her friends gave them to her. Sexual abuse was never proven in her past but could not be ruled out either. I am really concerned. My solution: HOME SCHOOL. BUT her therapist doesn't think that's the answer. The school principal is very supporting and said she would back my decision but she really wants this child to go to school. I have ask a psychologist, a social worker, a teacher(not hers) her pediatrician, her bio sisters, her grown sisters, and I am still not close to an answer. This little girl has a big smile. She can melt your heart. She purposely makes people feel sorry for her. She can be a great help. I do feel like she is attached, she wants a lot of attention. So I think If I home schooled her she would get the one on one she is craving from me in a positive way. The psychologist thought getting the school counselor involved might be a good idea. I'm not so sure. Most school counselors are young and have no clue how to deal with problems in adopted children. They are not the same as a child that has not suffered trauma. If I let her go I am going to put her in a uniform. Jeans, polo, and tennis shoes. I tried this with a teenager once who was caught wearing inappropriate clothes and it worked great! After a quarter of that she was ready to comply with mama's dress code. I think I will also go in to her class a couple of days a week with out her knowing I'm coming. This may cause problems with other kids because they would all love for me to come in with them. I just can't. I have too many appointments with other kids to go visit at school . I will have to schedule visits to her class in my calender. I don't mind doing this if I know it will work, but I JUST DON"T KNOW. I have said before if she misbehaved at school again I would pull her out and home school her. Well she hasn't gotten in any trouble at school but has gotten into trouble at home about 5 times since school started. And I don't mean minor kid stuff, but serious issues of lying, stealing, and major rule breaking. So I'm on the fence. Home school or not!

Home Study-state, private, or adoption disruption

Our home study expires in November. The adoption agency called and told us we would have to update with new physicals, TB tests, ETC. ETC. Do I want to update? YES! I know it has been a year and we haven't had any leads on children I'm willing to take but I still feel like the kids we are suppose to have will come along. All of my children are doing so well. We do have a couple that have room for improvement but I think that will always be the case. I know I wanted my bio son to improve plenty of times! Sometimes he did and sometimes he got worse. But he made it. He is a wonderful 26 year old , who turned into a polite, law abiding citizen. Could I see this when he was 14...15...16...17..18 NO! I couldn't even see this when he was 20. But he finally come around. All of the yelling, preaching, screaming, loving, talking, crying, begging, spanking, pleading, crazy stuff I did finally paid off. I have faith that I'm doing exactly what I am suppose to be doing. God has equipped me to deal with all of this. Is it easy? NO. Do I like it? Honestly, sometimes NO. Just like any other parent sometime I get frustrated. Have I ever thought of giving up. NO. I love my kids so much and see where they were and how far they have come that I want to keep on keeping on. I can't take teenagers. All of my children were adopted age 11 or less. I have considered some older kids but fear kicks in and I back out. Children are exposed to so much these days. Even Christian parents let their kids watch stuff, go places, and be unsupervised. I can not do this. I know sometimes I'm over protective. I know they have to grow up. But not too soon.

If anyone knows of any younger children, ages 0 to 12, A single child or a sib group with up to four kids. Let me know. Our home study is approved through the state but I could change it if I needed too. I would adopt internationally if I could. But having 18 children no matter how well they are doing is a big turn off to people who just doesn't get it. I would like to adopt through a disruption if everything would work out. Am I crazy?

Keep me in your prayers.