Sunday, November 15, 2009
I now have 2 --17 year old and 2--16 year old and 2--15 year old. As I have gotten older I parent a little bit differently with this group of teens than I did with my others. I use to go EVERYWHERE they went. All band, football, cheer leading, history club, track, and everything else they were involved in. With this group it's harder. I have so many at home that I can't afford to take everyone and go. It cost so much to get into the events. It also cost if your gone from home very long because kids want to eat. Even if we eat right before we leave. Something about riding in the car and everyone wants to eat. So this group have to go places with out me. There are positive things and negative things about this. One of the girls invited a young man to meet her at the basketball game. Which I really have no problem with. However afterwards I found out he isn't a very nicely spoken (my choice of words) young man. I know that kids will push boundaries. I know that sometimes they will say things they shouldn't. But for someone to post on the computer for all to see is just too much in my book. In anger I have said things I should not say, but if I have time to think and write or in everyday words I do not use ugly language. One of the kids told their therapist I said a bad word. It was funny really at what they thought was a bad word. And I know with everyone there is room for improvement. So how do I express my feelings to this almost adult young lady without pushing her away from me. I so want my girls to choose well behaved, well spoken, good citizen young men. Keith probably has better control over his tongue than I do mine so it is not by example that they choose this type of boyfriend. I was married at 17, and got a great husband. Our life hasn't been easy but we have overcome so much together. I talked to my children regularly about trashy mouths. I try to use examples of real people in the spot light and ask the kids if this is what they think Obama, or Oprah, or their teacher, or Principal, or someone they would look up to, would talk like. They do know what's right and wrong. They want to be accepted and liked and popular. Sometime they are popular because someone says OH your one of those Ledford's aren't you? Most all of their teachers and leaders know that I would back them up if there was a problem. So usually if one does step out of line a little bit all the teacher has to say is I know your mom and they straighten right up. Calling mom is the worst punishment especially for the younger kids. I am very very proud of my children. If they could ever do anything for me it's to make me proud of them. I so want a good life for them all. I think they are all on the right road. I just don't know which avenue dating is going to take them down. Hopefully they will eventually come out on the road that is Heaven Bound.