Sick Kids

This week has been a rough one. 3 kids have come down sick. I took Faith in to the DR sure she had strep. Nope she tested negative. NO sooner than we got home, Austin started running a temp. This morning Katelynn woke up and said she was sick. Hopefully they will all feel better by Monday morning.

Parent Teacher conferences are this next week. I have a full schedule to keep up with all the appts. Hopefully I'll get all good reports. All I ask is that each child does her/his best.

5 kids are at a ball game tonight and won't be home until 1 in the morning. YUCK! So goes the life of a mom.

Cell phones

Of coarse every teenager nowadays thinks they are being deprived if they don't have a cell phone. Well with 7 in highschool and 5 in middle school, it ain't happening. We did go the pre-paid phones for 9 of the kids. But only Destinee could control her usage and keep any minutes longer than a couple of days. SO Destinee is the only one with a phone. IF she pays for half of her minutes I will pay the other half. She is pretty responsiable and does well. I did get another phone on our AT&T plan. That makes 5 phones. That's all you can have. 2 of my grown daughter still have their phones from when they were in highschool. They pay me for their phone bill each month. I think Staisha is fixing to get on the same plan with Josh (her husband) and that will leave us another phone. I tried letting each teenager have the phone as "theirs" but each and every one abused the priviliage. Some were texting during school and some were texting at midnight. So one by one they lost "their" phone. I signed a contract of coarse and have to pay for 1 year anyway so I debated about what to do with the phone. I decided to let each kid take it for one day. All highschoolers get one day each taking turns. This has worked out pretty good. Text is all the rage so each child (highschool) can have a day to text all they want. I think if Staisha does get her a phone, I'll still make them take turns using a phone for a day. It gives me more control of when and who they are talking to.

Special Education

Today is my nephew's birthday. He is 3. His dad has just got custody of him. I sometimes keep him while his dad (Tim my brother) works. He doesn't talk. He mumbles and makes sounds but he doesn't speak but about 10 to 12 actual words. We have been working on getting him into a pre-school program so he can receive services. Tim lives in another county and leaves for work really early. We were trying to get him in school in the county I live in. I guess that is not going to happen. He has to actually live in the county he attends school in. I love the school system in which we live. They have always worked very closely with me concerning my children's education. Sometime we do have a different opinion, but always come to a conclusion we can both live with. I guess you could say I learned a lot with Doreese. She was our first child which needed special education. It was really hard to me at first. She was diagnosed with a learning disability and I just wanted to fix her. I did learn that you could not fix a disability. I pushed her really hard to start with. She was in first grade. She just couldn't remember her spelling words. We went over and over them and one time she would remember and the next time she wouldn't get it. Finally I got it. She could not do it. SO now I go a lot easier on the ones who have problems. I still want them to all do their very best. And they do! For the most part. Education is very important to me.

Counting On It!

As I was reading a devotional today it was talking about God giving everyone different gifts. I truly believe what I do is a gift. It's just some days I think I'm more gifted than others. Some days I question my sanity. Sure I love what I do, but time tells me it's time to slow down. However I don't want to slow down. My mind seems the same. I don't feel older until I look in the mirror and see my mom looking back at me. One of my vanity fears is being mistaken for my kids grandmother. It hasn't happened yet, but it's coming. I already see the questioning looks from other parents at school who don't know me. I was in a maternity dress shop a few weeks back with my pregnant daughter. I guess the clerk didn't notice we were together because she ask me when my baby was due. I don't know if I'm offended or not. On the one hand at least she thought I was young enough to be pregnant, but on the other hand she probably didn't know if I was fat or pregnant. (lol) Well I could do something about being overweight. Instead of keeping two 3 year olds, trying to help out parents who can't seem to get ahead I could be going to the gym. Instead of sitting in a psychologist office 8 times a month I could go to the tanning bed. Instead of all the school meetings I attend I could go have my hair and nails done. But you know that's not what makes me happy. Being mom makes me happy. It doesn't stress me out or make me wish I was somewhere else. (well most of the time anyway) I just love doing it. I love seeing a child overcome the curses and chains put there by their bio parents. Poverty, drugs, alcohol, tobacco, being uneducated, and over all making bad choices for their lives. It's all I can do not to bust out crying when I see them preforming in color guard, cheer leading, track, basketball, band, and all the other stuff they are in. That's a chance their parents didn't get, or didn't take. I love it when they come show me their grades and are proud of them. I love it when they clean up and put on nice clothes and have the confidence to know they look good. I believe in everyone of my kids. I know they all have different gifts. I understand that they won't all take the same path in life. I even know that some of them will make bad choices. But I also know they have been taught the right thing. I can stand before God knowing I done what was required of me as their parent. That's where it ends. He gave us all free will. Proverbs 22:6 says; Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. (KJV) I'm claiming that verse. Even on the ones I believe will mess up as soon as they are out from under my roof. WHEN HE IS OLD. All kids mess up at some point in their lives, but if they can survive and make it through without their choices being devastating to their life he will make it back to the Lord. I'm counting on it!

Pictures

WE have been trying to schedule a family picture for about 2 weeks now. Olan Mills was running a special at the local mall and I up and paid for a package, made the appointment THEN told the kids. BAD idea. One has a cheer leading competition, one has a basketball game, and another has something they have signed up to help with. I use to be in charge of my life. Now my kids are. Should I go ahead and make everyone stay home and have the picture taken or do I reschedule again? I'm not sure. If I make them go what kind of picture will I get? Can I even reschedule and meet every ones schedules? I'm not to happy tonight. Maybe things will look brighter tomorrow.

Genuine or Fake

Genuine or fake is a question I sometimes ponder when it comes to our kids and their emotions, problems and answers. I know of a mom who believed ever thing her daughter told her. EVERYTHING. The mom could not (or would not) see past her smile and manipulation. Keith and I often talked of this young girl who had everybody fooled but us. Sure enough it turns out in the end this girl duped her mom and dad and ending up running away and living the worst kind of life. This happened a long time ago but I still remember thinking what is she gonna hafta do for her parents to see through her. And they believed her to the very end. Am I like that? Are my children doing things behind my back I don't know of? Out of 18 children all of them seem to be genuinely happy and well adjusted. Sure there are a couple who are still going through some stuff but do I see the true picture? I read so many other blogs where families are struggling with their adopted children, that it scares me to think when is this going to happen to us? I want to believe that my teenagers are on the up and up. That no one is doing drugs, that no one is having sex, that they are all doing well socially. Their grades speak for themselves so I know they are doing well in school. At our house no one dates until they are 17 . and then only if I feel they are mature enough to handle a relationship. I am so proud of my kids. But what if it is only a facade, and they have me duped? I guess I'll enjoy my fantasy while it lasts and stop looking for trouble. I really hope they are doing as well as I think they are.

3 year olds

This is Lauren and Makayla. Both 3 and both girly girls. These two along with Faith and Katelynn play princess dress up every day. They all love makeup and hair ribbons and lace and ruffles. They keep me laughing. If we could all be so innocent. All of the kids stay really busy. The older ones all are involved in school activities and the younger ones are on the move all day long. If I had their energy, I could accomplish all I'd like to get done in a day.

I had a slow day today. I had no appointment to rush to. It gave me time to think and ponder. I thought about Jennifer, who spent Thursday and Friday with us. I have gone several weeks before without seeing her. When she lived in Gwinnett I didn't see her regularly. I never thought about it. Now that she is four hours away I want to see her. I guess it's all in my mind. If I know she is just around the corner, I'm OK. She's there if I want to see her. But if she is 4 hours away and I can't just call her and say come home, or go over to see her it makes me miss her more. Oh well. I guess I'll get use to it. I encouraged her to go. I guess it's too late to change my mind. Four years is a long time.

Another easy day tomorrow. If you call babysitting 3 three year olds easy. On second thought I'm gonna have a really busy, tiring day tomorrow!

weekend

Saturday my nephew Cody and TJ had a birthday party. I agreed to host it at my house being I had the most kids anyway. Everyone had a blast. Cody turned 13 and TJ 3. We served hot dogs, with slaw and chili, chips, and ice cream and cake. They all played really hard. Even I got hit with a water balloon. Sunday was a busy day also. Kids went to church, and then we had company. We had Caldito (beef and potato soup) for dinner, it was yummy.

Most of the kids are back to a routine. The same ole same ole relieves some anxiety for them. While growing up in foster care you never know what the next day holds. So for them to know what is going to happen always helps to relieve the unknown. Up at 6, breakfast, school, bus runs, homework, play outside, supper, baths , movie time, bedtime. Every day. The time changes some on weekends but it is still a planned day. The pools have really been fun for them this year. All of the kids are able to get in the biggest pool and they love the water. Last year I was still worried about the youngest 2. But this year they are old enough for me not to worry so much.

No appointments tomorrow , but still loads of laundry to do. Laundry. always laundry.

Dinner and a movie

Last night Keith and I went out to dinner with some dear friends. We both started our adoption journey about the same time. 14 years ago she adopted 2 cute little boys. Like all little boys, they grew up. Doreese and her youngest are the same age. My how time flies. We sure did have a good time. We use to get together regularly about once every month. It was so nice to get together with other parents going through the same thing. It gives you a since of your not alone in this big ole crazy endeavor. There were 3 groups of parents and 23 kids between us. Every one brought something so there was plenty of food and fun. My how I miss that. Her boys are almost grown and the other parents children are also almost grown. The couple we went out with last night have found a new love. Morotcycles! I wanted to get a picture but didn't get one before it got dark. I will though. Next time.

Staisha kept all the kids for me and she said they done great! I have began to worry about her now that she only has 2 and a half months to go. She is doing fine with no problems but keeping all my kids is a big job. OF coarse my older girls help out. I was proud they acting so well while I was gone.

Braces

This is Anthony, Cora and Kieanna. All three have braces on their teeth. Anthony got his first then Cora, and yesterday Kieanna got hers. I still have one more tween to go and that's all until someone gets theirs off. Actually we see two different orthodontist, as I found someone cheaper to do Kieanna's and Selena's. Jennifer also wore braces for 2 years. She got them off on her 14th birthday.

Life has been so busy lately. I thought I would post everyday, but I just didn't get around to it. With school starting and so much paperwork, and all of the older kids in stuff that they need rides home Keith and I both have been busy. Speaking of busy, my 15 Passenger van is in need of repairs! The water pump went out. Keith has been working on it and the fan is out too. Hopefully he will have it fixed this weekend. Thank goodness he is a shade tree mechanic. He learned how to do everything out of necessity. When we first got married we didn't have money to put a car in the shop, so he bought a book and figured it out for himself. He is a Jack of all trades, as my grandmother would say. He is my mister fixer upper.(all but sheetrock) but don't tell him I said that. LOL

Living with RAD

Living with a child with Reactive attachment Disorder can be a nightmare. Even with lots of experience and many tools, such as books, tapes, therapist and support,parenting children with this diagnosis is extremely hard. However I have had success on 3 out of the 4 of my children that have had this diagnosis. That's not to say I never still little glimpses of the child past. Often times I have to step back and rethink or go about something different for them. A lot of what I've found to be the root of RAD is fear. And fear is of the devil. The children are so afraid of what might or might not happen it hinders them from being "normal". What normal is any more I'm not sure. Most of my children are very successful. The majority have A's and B's , participate in activities, and are overall happy kids. Will this child ever be well?, cured?, I doubt it. However I have learned to deal with it. A lot of manipulation and control is involved. I've delt with it long enough to know how to be evasive, skip over, and ignore some of the things they try and pull me into. You learn to take it one day at a time, not to take it personally, and let a lot of bull go. Just let it go.

Movie in The Park

We all went to movie in the park night. About once every couple of months a local church puts on an event for the community. This is great for us as it's free and the kids really enjoy it! They have popcorn and snowcones, which makes it that much more of a special treat. Tonight it was A Night at the Museum II. Since it didn't start until dark the younger kids got cranky and tired, so I left with them and Keith, Staisha and Josh stayed with middle school and up. We got to see about half of it. I'm sure I'll be renting it for the rest to see later. This is Tyler, Johnathan, Austin, and Isaiah. My two boys love Johnathan and Tyler. They play really well together.


I went grocery shopping today, I spent almost $650. Can you believe it? That's the most I've spent at one store. Hopefully that will take us two weeks, but I can't count on it! I usually stock our freezer once a month, but didn't even get close this time. Of coarse I had four of my teenage boys with me and honestly I think they are worse than the girls to ask for stuff. But it sure was nice having them help load the car!LOL Well all the little kids are asleep, so I'm off to take a shower.

More Pictures

I have such great looking kids!!

First Day of School

Here's some pictures from the first day of school.

End of Summer

July marks 4 birthdays for us. Anthony and Cora. Anthony turned 15 and Cora turned 13 within a few days of each other. Both wanted the same kind of cake. Chocolate/Chocolate Chip.

Cora got jewelry and Anthony ask for an X-box controler.

Open House for back to school was today. We met all the teachers and I got a ton of paperwork to fill out. I worked for 1 hour on it tonight and got 3 kids finished. I still have 15 kids to go. Every one loved their teachers and are excited to go back. I can't say enough good things about our school system. All the teachers and staff work great with me to meet my kids needs. I've never in all of 24 years had a teacher I couldn't work with. We may have had some differences but always worked out a solution. The kids are all doing great and I truly apperciate all the teachers help! One more day and then it's not summer vacation anymore. WOO-HOO.

Back to School anxiety

UGH! All the kids are all hyped up about going back to school. They all like school and are ready to go back but most adopted children don't deal with anxiety very well. Destinee (16) and Doreese (17) got in a fight. Yes a fight, they actually hit each other. It lasted for 2 hits and dissolved by the time I got to their room, but I was very disappointed in both of them. Selena also had a small melt down today. She got up set over dolls, yes dolls. She did get it together and come back and apologize. Isaiah who doesn't deal with stress well AT ALL, wet his pants, destroyed two microphones, and just made bad choices all day. The microphones went to the karaoke and a game system. He won't be the only one affected by that. My older boys hide theirs a bit better. IF they get upset with each other they settle it without my interference. Sometimes they just act goofy to cover up being worried. Faith and Katelynn both have wet the bed. Katelynn hasn't seem to over come this yet. Although we have been working at it for some time now. Thursday is the big day for us. Maybe everything will settle back down to normal. They have had a busy summer. One of the older boys said this was the best summer vacation ever!