Lauren at Head Start

On the days Tabitha works I take Lauren (my grand daughter) to school. She has never been left until this school year. She was not happy. We considered pulling her out but after talking to the teacher decided to give it a little longer. She has quit crying as of last week, when we leave her. I think it would be easier if she road a bus, but we don't live close enough for the bus to pick her up. Today was hat day at her school. Her mom forgot to put a hat in her book bag. As soon as we walked into her room her teacher ask "wheres your hat" ? That's all it took. It broke my heart having to leave her. I really wanted to drive home (16 miles one way) and get her a hat and take it back to her. I didn't though. I made the comment to another teacher on the way out that they should make paper hats for the ones who didn't have one. I ask Lauren if they did. She said no. I know they want to make it fun for the kids but they are too little to understand. She is 3. So I'm miffed at the school for making my baby cry!LOL(just kidding) I do wish they had taken my advice about the paper hat though.

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Curfews??????

OK I have 7 high school kids. They are all involved in activities after school. Sometimes they don't get in from high school football games until midnight or later. Especially away games. The JROTC goes to competitions and leave as early as 4 am. Away wrestling matches get home around 11 pm and even have Saturday matches when they leave at 6 am. Competition Cheer leading has competitions on Saturday and Band also has festivals where they leave at 6 am on Sat. and return at 2 am. So I said all that to say I'm OK (not great) with this. If they are at a school function and don't have any control over what time the event ends then I understand. However activities like going to a friends house, going to play games with friends from church, or just hanging out they have control over. Over the summer the four teenage boys went to a teenage get together with other church teens. It wasn't so bad waiting up for them during summer because our schedule is a little different and less strict. During the school year I'm really strict about bedtime. Primary (pre k-2nd) lights out is 8pm. Intermediate (3-5) is 8:30pm , middle school is 9pm and high school is 10 pm. I don't mean at ten they can get a drink of water, go to the bathroom , ask me to sign something, or try to start a load of clothes. No, I mean in the bed, TV off, radio off, all bathroom business taken care of and lights OUT! Do you think I am being too strict? Some of my grown children think I'm going overboard with rules on this one. I tried to explain I'm trying to raise 18 kids here not just 2 or 3. Things are different. If I let just one get by with being 10 minutes late, then I've got 18 kids wanting to push boundaries. We get up at 6 am and I'm TIRED by 10pm. I want to go to sleep! I always try to take time to talk to my teens but lately it seems they want to see what they can get by with. Once when they were home at about 10:10 they still needed to eat dinner and shower. I blew my lid. No! if you aren't here at dinner then don't expect to come in after being gone for 4 or 5 hours and want me to change plans to suit them. Like I said if it is a function where everyone is in a group then I understand. Just don't go to a party, weather it is church related or not and come in late. All of the elementary kids sleep on the main floor and if they go to sleep at 8 then they have slept just long enough to wake up at 10 when everyone is laughing and cutting up in the kitchen. I know I'm OLD. I guess I was rude to a couple that is in leadership at the youth service my boys like to attend. The boys come in late on Saturday. Not really late but just a few minutes. Still it was after 10pm. I didn't let them go to a big outdoor service the church had planned for the next day. The young woman did come in and apologize for the night before, but it wasn't her fault. My boys know. They should have said, we need to be getting home. After all they had been there about 3 and a half hours. We live really close to this couple and I know they are trying to help. I know they think I'm being a mean ole woman. But when you are raising a big house full of teenagers things get crazy if control isn't kept. I did give in later in the day after they had went to our home church (without being ask) and came home and apologized. They actually took ownership of the behavior and said "sorry mom , we should have been here by 9:30 and next time we will. It won't happen again." So I let them call and go to the cook out at someones house. They left about 1pm and were home at 8:30. I never go to sleep at night until I lock all the doors and set alarms. I check the little ones and sometimes turn off TVs.

So tell me what you think? Am I being too controlling? Should I lighten up and just sleep on the sofa until they get in? Should I let them eat in their rooms? I know this has worked so far, but the kids are older. 15,16, and 17. Is 10 too early? You tell me.

Dress up

Faith played dress up for several hours today. The other girls will play for a while but get bored a lot quicker than she does. The hat came from her awards day for accelerated reading day. I'm sure I was the oldest kindergarten mom there. At least I didn't get ask if I was her grandmother. LOL

I've been in a rut lately with writing. I think of a thousand things to say when I'm not at the computer and then when I sat down I draw a blank. I'm sure it has something to do with being interrupted 20 times in 10 minutes. I do have one planned on curfews that I'd like some opinions on. That's coming soon!

Birth Parents

One set of bio sibling learned today that their birth dad is back in jail. Today was his birthday and they really wanted to wish him a happy birthday. So how do I deal. What do I say? I want to point out all of the things he has done wrong and explain why is there. But do I do this? no. Everyone messes up and who am I to judge. Some times I fight this battle of not being able to really express how I feel. I don't want it to cloud my children's memories and yet I don't want them to live in a fantasy world either. It's hard to find a medium. I'm only human and I don't like that they forgive their birth parents for everything, but let me forget to drop off a uniform and they remember it for years. We had therapy appointments today for 5 kids. Overall everyone is doing really well. We are still working on some issues. I brought up today how one birth mother shows up at some public stuff we are at. She treats my pre-teen like they are 3 years old. She rubs their back and talks soft baby talk to them. Then when I expect them to sit up straight and pay attention I get the look of "your so mean." The therapist and I talked about letting this child know that the birth mom missed out on their infancy and therefore forgets they are almost a teenager. I'm not so sure this will work. This child has some issues anyway and I'm afraid they will think I am just being controlling and mean. As usual I'll muddle my way through and do what I think is "the right thing" Not what I really want to say and do. Of coarse I will pray and ask the Lord to lead this blind woman on. Thank You Lord!

Pictures--Homecoming and Birthday's

I don't know why my pictures turned out so blurry! This is Krishawanda in the Yellow and Destinee in the Black shimmer. Keith was the proudest papa there! The close up is the night of the dance. They all looked stunning. Krishawanda in purple, Destinee in green, Doreese in cream, D.J. in Black and Marvin in white and black with a pink tie that was suppose to match his dates dress. We were a little off. Kaitlyn was still beautiful even if Marvin's tie didn't match. The girls were all stunning. I really have beautiful daughters and sons. Today is Hannah's birthday. She turns 10.

It has been a rainy, rainy day, or I should say week. Wish I could sit in my porch swing and sleep. I love the sound of rain. I should sleep good tonight being it is suppose to rain all night. Goodnight.

Changes

Change is in the air. In just a few more weeks Staisha will have a newborn. Life will change for all of us. She does lots of my errands, dropping off, and picking up, for me as well as my everyday babysitting. Like sitting while I run to the grocery store, or Doctors office or being here at 3 when the bus gets here when I'm running behind. So Lots of happy times ahead as well as adjustments. When she was in school at West Georgia, (2 hours away) we adjusted quickly with what seemed like little changes. Now that she has been here 6 months again I look back and don't know how I made it without her. The kids are all older and I absolutely trust my teenage girls to babysit, just not babysit the teen boys. When I had to go somewhere before I just took the 5 oldest boys with me. Just like this spring when Keith cut his hand on the lawn mower. It took the tips of 2 fingers not bone just meat. Sounds gross, well it was. I just dropped everything told the 5 boys to get in the van. They had been cutting grass and working in the yard. They were all hot and dirty and sweaty. But we had to go and go quickly, so we went. They sat in the van while Keith was in the ER. I told them they could sit in the waiting room but they declined. It turned out all right. Keith had to see a wound specialist on Monday, they bandaged him up, gave him pain meds and sent him home. All the kids pulled through that with flying colors. I was yelling out commands as we left. They were real troopers. I called Brian who was about 30 minutes away and he came straight here. Even he shined in time of crisis. I know in a few months after the baby comes we won't remember him not being here. He'll get use to us all really quick as babies adjust. That is unless his mama keeps him home. Being a new mom she may do just that. I figure after about 3 nights with no sleep she'll come around and decide all our germs aren't so bad after all. LOL And then again she may be like her mom and decide she wants to do everything her way. I look back and think "Wow was I dumb" but we all have to learn. Tabitha is next door now also, she was away over a year. She has my two grand babies (3 and 8), and both think if Nana's at home then they should be here too. Tabitha is good to babysit too. She sat tonight while Keith and I went out. She is going back to school soon and I'll loose her help also. I know they will be here if I need them , I've just gotten spoiled with them being here everyday. Eating with us most nights. I miss Jennifer too. She also jumped in to babysit when she was here. We were never without time for our marriage. So the wind is changing, wonder whats blowing our way?

GO KRISHAWANDA! GO KRISHAWNDA!!!

Woo HOO! Krishawanda won Homecoming court for 10th grade! Destinee didn't but she will always be my princess! I am so proud of both of them. It was all I could do to hold it together. I don't mean little tears either, I mean heart wrenching, sobs. They were both beautiful. Inside and out. I only have a few more years with them ,then they will be on their own. Hopefully they will have absorbed enough that they will float in this big ole world. I sure hope so. I pray so. Keith stayed and I left with the little kids at the end of third quarter. We were winning 13 to 3. I hope we have a winning season as two of my highschool boys are playing football and the other two are in the band. Destinee is cheerleader and Krishawanda is in colorguard ,with Doreese also in JROTC colorguard. That's seven kids at a football game. All highschoolers. UGH! Oh well, time will fly by so fast they will graduated before I know it. Of coarse I'll have kids in high school for the next 13 years so I may have a cane at Faith's last senior game. LOL;)

Adoption Disruption

NO, I'm not disrupting.
I do have several friends in the adoption world who have considered disrupting and a couple of friends who have disrupted. I have been in this life of adoption long enough to know that not every child fits into every family. No matter how much the parents want it or how much they love the child. Sometimes those are the hardest disruptions. Moms and Dads who love so much but realize love isn't enough. Tons and tons of books have been written on it. Some kids just don't bond with some parents and families. RAD is one cause. Reactive Attachment Disorder is probably the number one reason for disruption. In other cases it is something else. Hardly ever in my experience has disruption been for lack of want or love. In fact I think in my opinion the ones who love the most are the ones who let go. They want so bad for the child to succeed they can't stand the thought that they may be holding them back. If there is a chance the child can succeed in another family then they sacrifice everything to make sure this child gets that chance.
Believe me it is everything. The parents I've known who have disrupted really caught a lot of negative feedback. Unless you have walked in someone else shoes don't judge. I can remember thinking of some things my birth kids would never do. I knew my kids would not act like that and I would not react. Boy does things change when you are living it instead of watching it. Some children aren't' going to succeed , no matter what. I'm sorry , but that is the way I see it. When I say succeed I mean live lives with out being involved with law enforcement, work a job, take baths, no drug abuse, no alcohol abuse, no child abuse, no repeating what their parents did to them, no violence, etc. etc. Success means different things to us all. I want each and every one of my children to be successful. Right now they are all on that path. It could change in a heart beat. As children age into teenagers and young adults they have choices to make. These choices could effect the rest of their lives. Hind sight is 20/20. If they could jump ahead 10 years and look back at the what ifs, I'm sure they would see things in a different light. I also think that children who don't attach after moving from family to family wishes they had made the best of what they had. I've read about children being moved 5,6, and 7 times looking for a family they wanted. It never happened. Of the disruptions I know of all of the kids seem to be doing better in their 2ND home. I think they are definitely some kids who just aren't a good fit for some families. Believe me I know I wouldn't be a good fit in just any family. The mom swap. or I think it is actually wife swap they do on TV surely would not work for me. They would send me packing in one day.
When we fostered for about 7 years I never had to have a child moved. Never. I did think about it. I was just lucky enough to be able to see it through. I knew their time was limited in my home and I just kept telling myself the end was near. There were some kids I was so so glad who left, Went home, or to live with relatives. (I kept the rest) I knew what my limits were and was lucky enough to have a county who was upfront with me on behaviors and worked really well with me to get all the help they needed.

I hope and pray I'll never have to disrupt. I don't think I will. But like I said things happen and life changes. I would actually love to adopt again from a disruption. In fact that is where I felt the Lord was leading me when I felt the desire to adopt again. It hasn't happened yet, and may not. I am so impatient. Some times we just need to be still and hear God's voice. I am trying. Everyone says you must be so patient with all those children. Well I'm not.

We never know what's around the corner. We never know what God is going to ask of us. When he says he won't put on us more than we can bear, I believe him. This is how I get through some tough times. This too shall pass. So if your considering disruption, or have disrupted don't fret, it may all be part of God's plan. I believe that of the child we adopted from a disruption. The first mom just had to pick her up for me, and be with her until I could. (Thanks again!) It was all part of the big picture. We just have a puzzle piece. But it all fits together in the end.

Andrew's Football Game

Tonight we went to Andrew's football game. They won!! Of coarse my grandson made the only touchdown. He takes after me of coarse. With 21 people yelling for him I'm sure no one doubted who he belonged to. LOL My baby grandson is 8 years old. He is my only grandson until November, maybe October. Staisha's baby is a boy and Andrew won't get to have the honor of being my only grandson. He and I are really close . His mom was working a job and still in college when he was born and I practically raised him until he was 2. I just know that's why he is so smart and talented. My side of the family you know. In all seriousness he is really a smart kid. He loves all of his aunts and uncles as some of them are younger than him. He always wants to be at my house with all the kids. When they lived in Texas and he came to visit, he came running in the door, threw his arms around me and said "love you Nana, wheres the boys?" I didn't see him for an hour after that. He was happily playing with the kids. He seems so well adjusted and I think that helps my kids too. He goes to see his bio dad on weekends and we talk about birth family with him and it kinda makes my kids feel like they aren't the only ones with 2 different families. So here's to ANDREW!!!

Orphanages

Someone actually made the comment to me the other day of "so when did you become an orphanage.?" This really ticked me off! First off I kept my cool because this came from a really uneducated, backwoods, blah, blah, blah, person. (read between the lines) I can't call names because I don't let my children call names. I took a deep breath and calmly explained to them the difference. First , all of these children are MINE. No one can ever come take them away. They will always always have a place to call home. I will always be their mom. and Keith will always be their dad. I will stand by them thick or thin. I will never support bad habits, or bad decisions. But I will always be their mom, which means I will always tell them my opinion and what I think is best. You can't go home to an orphanage for Christmas, Thanksgiving or just to have dinner. Easter bunny doesn't come nor Santa Clause. Kids don't get to dress up in costumes at orphanages and go trick or treating. Orphanages don't put kids in little league, or football, or track ,or cheer leading. Orphanages don't sit up in a rocker all night long when their baby is sick or just wants to be held. Orphanages don't rub a child's back until they fall back asleep after a bad dream. Orphanages don't fix 3 different kinds of sandwiches at lunch because no one can agree on what they like. Orphanages don't look for 6 hours for a homecoming dress. Orphanages doesn't let little ones crawl into bed with them at 2 am because they woke up and can't go back to sleep. Orphanages don't cry when their child or children are excelling in school and your just so proud, because you know what background they came from. Am I making myself clear here. These are my children in every sense of the word. I love each and everyone of them. I want the same for each and every one. To know and love God, to be healthy and happy. To know they are loved. To be educated to the very best of their ability. For some that will mean college for others it won't. But that's OK . I love each one as an individual. Even for my birth kids it's the same. I love them all the same, just different. I could go on and on about the difference of an orphanage or group home, or foster home compared with an adoptive home. Even statistics show I'm right. Children who are adopted compared to those who age out are so much more successful as adults. So yes I have a big house. (not big enough in my opinion) yes I have lots of kids. Yes they share bedrooms, and most share clothes (by choice) and they all share toys. As well as mom and dad. They also share our love. That's one thing never in short supply. Hugs , kisses, and love. So I think I got my point across to this person. Even If I didn't, they now know I consider these children mine. Family, forever.

And yes, I know there is some orphanages that take good care of children. I am thankful children have a bed, some food, and a roof over there head. But I am more thankful for adoption.

This is a picture of our kitchen. It is actually what brought the question on. We've only had it built about a year. I have to say it is one of the best things we have ever done. I enjoy it so much. It's really a family room too, as it is where I'm at most of the time.

Faith lost her first tooth today. My baby. It seems like last week when Tabitha lost her first tooth. She said she remembers being scared all her teeth were going to fall out until I reassured her it was suppose to happen. LOL I want to cry. They are all growing up so fast. I wonder if when I'm 80 time will have gone by as fast as it has the last 30 years? I know I don't want time to stop, but slowing down a little would sure be nice.

I'm going to go play tooth fairy, Orphanages don't do that either.

BIo Family

This is Doreese, Marvin and Selena's biological Grandmother and Aunt. They stopped by today to see the kids. We can't talk much because they don't speak English very well and I don't speak Spanish at all but it was still good to keep those ties for Doreese, Marvin and Selena. Selena and Anna look cute together. The other picture is of Doreese in her uniform for ROTC. She has to wear them to school on Wednesday's. Doreese looks like her Aunt. She is her bio dad's younger sister. The two babies are hers. Her husband speaks english so he was able to translete some for us. Grandmother was also at Tabitha's wedding 10 years ago next month. TIme goes by so fast. We had just adopted them and their bio dad and grandmother came. It is really good for the kids to keep lines open. The bio family respects us in every way and always ask about visits, phone calls or contact. I wish it were like this for every adoption. Sadly some of my kids can't have contact with their bio parents until they turn 18. No matter when they contact them I will stand by them. I think all kids want to know their bio family. I beleive if they can learn it's OK to love us both they can move on. I try to teach just because a parent can't raise you doesn't mean you can't love them. Not all cases are the same I know. Thankfully we have only had postive relationships with my kids families. I loved my mother and grandmother the same. I don't think I could have chosen between the two. They were both big influences in my life. Both help raise me. This has helped me to teach my kids about being able to love 2 families. I have had great success so far. I think once I've given them permission to love, greive, cry, and express all their feelings it helps them to understand about reltationships. I have to be honest and say that sometimes I've been jealous of the bio family. They come in with gifts and candy to visit and the kids just fall into their laps and adore them. I get to wipe snot, clean up puke, wipe behinds, tie shoes, do homework, and correct them and I'm the bad guy. Once they reach 16 and 17 they understand but it is still hard to stand by and watch MY kids love someone else. I guess Love isn't suppose to be easy!

Life in the Fast Lane, Surely make you loose your mind

Those are some dumb lyrics to some song from way back in the day. I remember I didn't even like the song. But that seems how my life is going lately. I've been on the road practically every single day for Dr.'s, Dentist, Ortho, Psych, Teacher conference, and even one appointment for my nephew I got included in on. I think that is why life is going by so fast now a days. There is just so much to do. Thank goodness all the kids are doing well in school. So far all reports are good. Marvin's last visit for Therapy was today! Hooray! One and a half year of weekly appointments was a lot. We only had to reschedule one. We made all the others. I think we were late a couple of times, but not by more than 10 minutes. SOO glad that's over. Selena was suppose to get braces yesterday but was sick and out of school so we had to reschedule for next week. I have one appointment tomorrow at school and one left to do and all conferences will be completed for the elementary kids. Now middle school......

Speaking of way back in the day. Man I hate getting old. I feel the same as I did 10 years ago. (well almost) I only feel old when I look in the mirror, have to read small print, try to figure out a new electronic device,(like my cell phone) or try to have a conversation with my teenagers. Yea, that one makes me feel really old. I was told that there is just some words mom's can't use. Like saying some guy was Hot, or saying sweet. Oh not like in sweet treats just like I would have used the word cute, or cool. I find kids are growing up faster and faster. I use to think Tabitha thought she was grown at 14, huh I didn't know notin. Now kids think they are grown at 7,8,and 9. The clothes they have for sale sure says they are grown and looking for a man. Really , do you think a 7 year old needs mini skirts, mid drift tops, and high top leather boots. What happen to bows, and ribbons, and lace and ruffles? They seriously don't make little girl clothes any more. Pitiful just pitiful. Staisha has bought a sewing machine and wants to learn to quilt. I had a machine for years but just didn't use it much so I got rid of it. Now that I've used hers I've decided I want one again. Maybe I can make my girls some kids clothes. I'm going to try my had at a quilt too. If I can stay home long enough! I'm going to try and post every night for a week. I said TRY!

Happiness

What makes you happy? I know for me being a mom makes me happy. I think I'm good at it. I love the job. Three of the kids and myself were at the mall on Sat. I know I know What was I doing at the Mall. The over priced,stuff I don't really need place. Well Krishawanda has to have a dress. She is tall and just any dress doesn't fit. Although we did find one I liked and offered to buy but she said no. She thought it cost to much. So after we got home she was talking about getting another dress. Now for some reason she thought $100 was too much to pay for this dress but expected me to give her $100 to go somewhere else and look. Not gonna happen. Anyway while at the mall we kept getting the strangest looks. I look down to make sure my clothes weren't revealing anything or the kids were all dressed all right. Then it dawned on me. We were 3 different races. No one could figure out why I was with kids of three different races. It doesn't offend me any more when people ask are they all yours. Or are you with a youth group. I just smile and say Nope I'm the mom. And being Mom makes me happy!

CONGRATS!!!

WOO HOO Not 1 but 2 of my girls made homecoming court. Destinee and Krishawanda are both on top of the world. Now I have to buy (or borrow) new dresses. Of coarse the girls prefer buy, but my goodness they are expensive.. Now the dilemma is how Keith can walk both of them down during homecoming. ??? We ask Brian (25) but I think he and Amey have already made plans for that weekend. Maybe he could walk both at the same time???

Keith and I went to the Falcons game last night. UGH! I'm not a big football fan anyway but Keith is. So when he ask, I reluctantly said yes dear. Traffic was HORRIFIC. We had to park about a mile away. I have blisters on my feet. We were late because of the traffic and the walk, and then they had the nerve to LOOSE! It was not a pleasant night. It was good to get to be with Keith for the ride though. LOL We talked, with out interruptions!

I watched a short clip the other day from a church about who is raising our children. Who is teaching them to be kind, compassionate, loyal, loving, strong, to stand up when the time calls for it, to have values, and respect. This particular faith teaches that mothers have this important job but they aren't fulfilling their obligations. And they are right. Mom's now days are so busy working, putting their kids in activities, having their nails and hair done that they can't see that their children need something so different. I know some mothers HAVE to work. I get that. I know I sure had to work. But I look back and wonder if I could have let something go and stayed home with my kids. I believe all four of my bio kids have done fine. They haven't made decisions I would have made for them, but they are law abiding citizens, who work for what they want without expecting it to be given to them by the government. They are all Christians and all are healthy. But they are all caught up in this faced paced world. Does it really matter that they had name brand shoes, or that they attend every birthday party? or that they were always involved in sports, dance, clubs etc etc? No, I can truly say I don't think that changed them as a person. Moms need to nurture their children. True mothers love isn't shown very much any more. Society is placing such crazy standards on raising kids it's impossible to meet everything. I have a friend who's daughter is a missionary in a third world country. I so envy her freedom. I worry if everything I do isn't what society calls normal. If her children are clean, have plenty to eat and shoes on their feet they are considered blessed. But here my children have to have 5 pair of shoes, 20 outfits, a room full of the latest toys, have every single new electonic that comes out, be involved in 2 or three activities and My Goodness How dare I ask that they have chores and responsibilities. Your taking their childhood, just let them be kids. Well being a kid involves learning and growing up. How can they learn to be a respectful adult and obey the law if they aren't taught to respect authority. How will they learn to hold a job if they aren't held responsible for any jobs at home? When I really look at the big picture I feel like I'm fighting a loosing battle. I wish I lived 100 miles away from anyone then maybe I wouldn't feel like society was raising my kids and not me.

Thanks!

Well the kids are all well and now I've come down with it. Just sore throat and a fever but I sure do feel a lot worse than the kids did. (LOL) They still run around and played and jumped and I just want a quiet spot to lay down.

Staisha's baby shower was Sunday and it went wonderful. She got lots of stuff and is very thankful to everyone for her gifts. This being her first baby she thinks she needs every new gadget and a wardrobe to outfit three babies. I remember my first. Tabitha didn't even wear all the clothes she had. I gave some away with price tags still on them, of coarse if I had known Jennifer would show up just 17 months later I would have kept them. But life has a way of going it's own way. 3o years ago if someone told me of the life I would be living now I would have thought they were crazy. Really crazy. Now I can't imagine my life any other way.

Well I won't go as far as to say I can't imagine having some things differently just the same but different. Like one 8 year old soiling his pants! I had to go pick him up at school because he had an accident. This is the 2nd one since school started. He had 5 or 6 last school year also. I took him to the pediatrician and the DR said nothing was physically wrong. She referred him back to therapy. The crazy thing is during the summer he doesn't have the accidents. He went all last summer with no accidents and this summer he had only one where he wet his pants because he couldn't get to the bathroom in time. SO what can I do? He is seeing his psychologist again, but is that really gonna help? He has to make the choice. I talk to him after I picked him up about everybody using the toilet. If you don't go you die. I told him he was normal, nothing was wrong that he could not fix himself. Making good choices is all a part of life. The one thing I am concerned about is his medicine for add. He doesn't take it during the summer. Could this be making a difference with his bowel issues? Another child has had some issues also but had a medical condition that meds helped, but when the Dr. says nothing is wrong what can I do. Is it a control game for him. If he soils his pants he gets to go home? I threatened to make him wear a pull up. He said he really didn't want to. Maybe he would feel more comfortable and in control if he did. I just don't know. This is one parenting issues I'd gladly take help on. I am at a loss as what to do. The therapist said he needs to clean his mess up and he does. He acts like he just doesn't care. He doesn't have any major diagnosis, so it shouldn't be coming from another illness, or problem. Like RAD, or ODD or many others. I know some of these come with bathroom issues too. Stress brings it on. He fell and hurt his arm last year. He done fine in the ER while he was getting his x-ray,but when they sent him to the orthopedic Dr. he soiled his pants sitting in the waiting room. And this was after being ask if he needed to go. So I'm stumped. I guess we'll learn through trial and error. Hopefully he will get this under control. Any ideas?