Saturday, September 12, 2009

BIo Family

This is Doreese, Marvin and Selena's biological Grandmother and Aunt. They stopped by today to see the kids. We can't talk much because they don't speak English very well and I don't speak Spanish at all but it was still good to keep those ties for Doreese, Marvin and Selena. Selena and Anna look cute together. The other picture is of Doreese in her uniform for ROTC. She has to wear them to school on Wednesday's. Doreese looks like her Aunt. She is her bio dad's younger sister. The two babies are hers. Her husband speaks english so he was able to translete some for us. Grandmother was also at Tabitha's wedding 10 years ago next month. TIme goes by so fast. We had just adopted them and their bio dad and grandmother came. It is really good for the kids to keep lines open. The bio family respects us in every way and always ask about visits, phone calls or contact. I wish it were like this for every adoption. Sadly some of my kids can't have contact with their bio parents until they turn 18. No matter when they contact them I will stand by them. I think all kids want to know their bio family. I beleive if they can learn it's OK to love us both they can move on. I try to teach just because a parent can't raise you doesn't mean you can't love them. Not all cases are the same I know. Thankfully we have only had postive relationships with my kids families. I loved my mother and grandmother the same. I don't think I could have chosen between the two. They were both big influences in my life. Both help raise me. This has helped me to teach my kids about being able to love 2 families. I have had great success so far. I think once I've given them permission to love, greive, cry, and express all their feelings it helps them to understand about reltationships. I have to be honest and say that sometimes I've been jealous of the bio family. They come in with gifts and candy to visit and the kids just fall into their laps and adore them. I get to wipe snot, clean up puke, wipe behinds, tie shoes, do homework, and correct them and I'm the bad guy. Once they reach 16 and 17 they understand but it is still hard to stand by and watch MY kids love someone else. I guess Love isn't suppose to be easy!

1 comment:

  1. wow, Doreeses really does look like her Aunt! And Marvin is such a good looking guy when he smiles!