Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Birth Parents

One set of bio sibling learned today that their birth dad is back in jail. Today was his birthday and they really wanted to wish him a happy birthday. So how do I deal. What do I say? I want to point out all of the things he has done wrong and explain why is there. But do I do this? no. Everyone messes up and who am I to judge. Some times I fight this battle of not being able to really express how I feel. I don't want it to cloud my children's memories and yet I don't want them to live in a fantasy world either. It's hard to find a medium. I'm only human and I don't like that they forgive their birth parents for everything, but let me forget to drop off a uniform and they remember it for years. We had therapy appointments today for 5 kids. Overall everyone is doing really well. We are still working on some issues. I brought up today how one birth mother shows up at some public stuff we are at. She treats my pre-teen like they are 3 years old. She rubs their back and talks soft baby talk to them. Then when I expect them to sit up straight and pay attention I get the look of "your so mean." The therapist and I talked about letting this child know that the birth mom missed out on their infancy and therefore forgets they are almost a teenager. I'm not so sure this will work. This child has some issues anyway and I'm afraid they will think I am just being controlling and mean. As usual I'll muddle my way through and do what I think is "the right thing" Not what I really want to say and do. Of coarse I will pray and ask the Lord to lead this blind woman on. Thank You Lord!

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there Vicki as you navigate through these tough issues. I know the Lord will hear and answer your prayers. Also know that there are daily prayers being said in behalf of you and your famiy! You are doing a great job! I hope that this mom comes to see her child as a young adult and not a baby.

    I love the pictures of the homecoming! You do indeed have a beautiful family!