Birth Parents

One set of bio sibling learned today that their birth dad is back in jail. Today was his birthday and they really wanted to wish him a happy birthday. So how do I deal. What do I say? I want to point out all of the things he has done wrong and explain why is there. But do I do this? no. Everyone messes up and who am I to judge. Some times I fight this battle of not being able to really express how I feel. I don't want it to cloud my children's memories and yet I don't want them to live in a fantasy world either. It's hard to find a medium. I'm only human and I don't like that they forgive their birth parents for everything, but let me forget to drop off a uniform and they remember it for years. We had therapy appointments today for 5 kids. Overall everyone is doing really well. We are still working on some issues. I brought up today how one birth mother shows up at some public stuff we are at. She treats my pre-teen like they are 3 years old. She rubs their back and talks soft baby talk to them. Then when I expect them to sit up straight and pay attention I get the look of "your so mean." The therapist and I talked about letting this child know that the birth mom missed out on their infancy and therefore forgets they are almost a teenager. I'm not so sure this will work. This child has some issues anyway and I'm afraid they will think I am just being controlling and mean. As usual I'll muddle my way through and do what I think is "the right thing" Not what I really want to say and do. Of coarse I will pray and ask the Lord to lead this blind woman on. Thank You Lord!